I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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