Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
