Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
