im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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