What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
