she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
