Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize