A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
