the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
