She's JV to your varsity
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
