I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you had me at cake vodka
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
