how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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