First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
