Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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