I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
