I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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