69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
