Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
