if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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