would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
