I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
