Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
