Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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