What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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