20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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