So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
