Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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