FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
