tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
