ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize