Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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