90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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