Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
