I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
