I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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