would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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