I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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