i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
