WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
