Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
