his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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