There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I need moral support for this bender
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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