You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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