I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
