I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
