Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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