just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
