In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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