sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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