The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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