My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I wear drunk well.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
