Just mADE A PArabola og urine
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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