Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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