Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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