Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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