Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
