hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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