Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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