brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
