So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
