**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
