maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Do vagina's smell?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize