she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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