Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
