I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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